It's the most wonderful time of the year...except when you have to make small talk with your weird second cousin twice removed. Here are the five worst Christmas phone calls you could make this holiday season.
1. The Drunk Dial
You've had a few too many eggnog lattes and now you're feeling brave/sentimental. You decide to call that cute barista from Starbucks who always gives you extra whipped cream, but instead of getting their number, you end up leaving a slurred voicemail about how you love their smile and would like to see what they look like naked. Oops.
2. The Awkward Check-In
You call your parents/grandparents/auntie/uncle just to say hi and catch up, but things quickly go downhill when the conversation runs dry and all you can think to say is "How's the weather?" or "Have you seen that new Will Ferrell movie?" Wedged into an uncomfortable silence, you start to sweat and wonder if it's possible to die from awkwardness.
3. The "I'm So Much Better Than You" Bragfest
You call your high school bestie to catch up and exchange pleasantries, but things take a turn for the worse when she starts bragging about her new job/boyfriend/apartment/car/dog/life in general. Before long, you're seething with jealousy and wondering why you even bothered to call her in the first place. Humph.
4. The Guilt Trip
You call your grandma just to chat, but she starts going on and on about how disappointed she is in you because you haven't called her in weeks/months/years. As the guilt sets in, you start making promises you know you won't keep (I'll visit more often! I'll call every week!) before hastily saying goodbye and vowing never to pick up the phone again. Sigh.
5. The Silent Treatment
You call your significant other just to wish them a Merry Christmas, but they don't say anything back—not even "hello." After a few moments of awkward silence, it dawns on you that they've given you the silent treatment...again. Frustrated, you hang up and wonder if it's time to start looking for a new partner who knows how to communicate like a normal human being. Bah humbug!
No matter who you call this holiday season, just remember to keep it short and sweet—unless, of course, you're hoping for an Awkward Check-In or a Guilt Trip. In which case, by all means, stay on the line as long as humanly possible! From all of us here at iRing, we hope you have a wonderful holiday season!